Dispelling Haunting Memories

Your opinion of yourself is the most important opinion, so accept your faults and forgive your failures and mistakes. Learn the lessons of your mistakes so you don't repeat them. Identify and maintain your values so the conversations you have with yourself remain the most important. Since you are the only person you can control and change, replace bad habits with good habits by daily repetition and routine.

"To have your life 'look good' but not 'feel good' is not living; it's existing. That's not success and in your heart, you know it. To not honor yourself, to choose not to do what you know is right for you, is a crime against yourself."  — Julie Fuimano, "The Journey Called YOU"

If you are continually haunted by a past experience, resistance is futile because the energy used to PUSH the thoughts out of your mind actually increase their power and influence on you.

 

That which you resist persists

 

In addition to painful memories, you may also be using energy to keep a secret. The worry of having a secret exposed can not only make you physically sick, but prevent you from enjoying a full life. A bad choice does not mean you're a bad person or undeserving of happiness. It does mean that you can choose at any time to discontinue the behaviors, habits, and thought patterns which are preventing the peace you want in your life.

"To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you somebody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."  —  E. E. Cummings

You can't accept and cope with bad memories and secrets until you can explore them and learn the lesson they provide. Just like grief, you must surrender to the emotions in order for them to disappear. Once you've experienced coming to terms with one negative experience, your increased courage and confidence will make expunging additional issues much easier.

 

Enjoy life now — it has an expiration date!

 

What is wisdom?

What exactly is wisdom and why would or should anyone strive to achieve it?  The significance is conveyed best through examining the deeper concepts of the "Serenity Prayer":

 

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

 

Relinquish your controlling nature to whatever higher (religious, universal, etc) power you believe in to accept the reality of the present conditions and circumstances - instead of fighting that reality with illusions of how things 'should' or 'should not' be.

Courage to change the things I can;

However, there's always the choice of making responsible decisions to take actions which we know are necessary, regardless of unknown outcomes or consequences. Our Life is determined by the decisions and actions that we take and the thoughts that we hold - by no other forces. We must in all cases live with the consequences of our decisions or our lack of decision. The only thing that we can change is our perspective as we view reality, learning to make wiser choices by better thinking each moment.

And wisdom to know the difference.

Wisdom is not how you think, but specific behavior [what you do] based on life's experiences: an acquired ability to remember and later recognize the things which do or do not coincide with reality; the things which are true and honest; the eventual success of numerous mistakes strung together; learning not to engage in more foolishness than what can be laughed at [instead of bringing tears].