Embracing the Pain

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding." –Kahlil Gibran

Have you ever noticed how people will push through physical pain to reach a goal because they feel the outcome is worth the pain (getting a tattoo, having a baby, sports, etc).  But yet, people refuse to heal a broken heart because they're AFRAID OF GETTING HURT AGAIN?

"When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out because that's what's inside. When you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside."  — Dr. Wayne Dyer: Motivational author and speaker

Humans seem to be very reluctant to repeat any experience which produced emotional pain. Unfortunately, this avoidance behavior not only hinders finding and developing healthy relationships, but occasionally even causes people to purposely injure themselves.

"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek."  — Joseph Campbell: Was a mythologist, author, and lecturer

Since a human heart is physically the hardest working organ in the body (it never stops or rests), it also has the capacity to bear great emotional pain without breaking or stopping.  Heartbreak is just a natural part of the human emotional design. But just like any muscle, the greater the pain and stress, the stronger a muscle grows. With each painful experience, your emotional intelligence and courageous heart also grows. This develops your wisdom.

"Your experience of life is not based on your life, but on what you pay attention to."  — Gregg Krech

So never be afraid to feel and acknowledge your heartbreak. If you can endure and push through physical pain, you can just as easily push through emotional pain. You will not only survive but actually thrive from your perseverance.

"Simple kindness to one's self and all that lives is the most powerful transformational force of all." — Dr. David Hawkins: Psychiatrist, physician, spiritual teacher, and lecturer

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Enjoy life now — it has an expiration date!

Knowing Your Path

"Your life has to do with the agenda that has been set for you by you, by that part of you that we've come to call, in our language, your soul."  — Neale Donald Walsch

Everyone has wondered from time to time why they are alive — what is you purpose in life?

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."  — Lao Tzu

Becoming aware of your soul (your spiritual side) provides the answers to WHO and WHY as well as guiding your decisions and actions.

"We don't always know what makes us happy. We know, instead, what we think SHOULD. We are baffled and confused when our attempts at happiness fail...We are mute when it comes to naming accurately our own preferences, delights, gifts, talents. The voice of our original self is often muffled, overwhelmed, even strangled, by the voices of other people's expectations. The
 tongue of the original self is the language of the heart."  — Julie Cameron

Knowing your purpose keeps your priorities arranged by most important and your perspective on the reality you choose.  Your contributions to others and your life will be easier when they match who you are.

"What you must dare is to be yourself."  — Dag Hammarskjold

Fear or Trust?

"The most self-destructive thought that any person can have is thinking that he or she is not in total control of his or her life. That's when, 'Why me?' becomes a theme song."  — Roger Dawson

You always have a choice to live your life from the perspective of trust and gratitude — or from fear and doubt. The pendulum of life forever swings alternate ways, so your perspective is simply an illusion of truth which you can control. Your happiness hinges on whether you are negative and drained, complaining about constant problems — or empowered and positive, thankful for the perfection of your life.

"If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgment of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now."  —  Marcus Aurelius

Living in doubt, fear, and concern stems from your own judgment that something is not perfect. You feel fear, insecurity, worry, indecision, stress, and even confusion. This judgment says that something is a problem or a burden — is either good or bad — and then conditions you to continue to always expect the worst. Ironically, your judgment is never based on your actual expertise to make that judgment though.

"Out of clutter, find Simplicity. From discord, find Harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." — Albert Einstein

Even though some experience or person initially "planted" an idea with you, look for the advantages of, opportunities from, and lessons to be learned from all negative experiences. Consider how many disasters turned out alright, and some even became blessings. You must become aware of your perspectives in order to adjust it.

"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars."  — Charles Beard

Without problems to solve, life would be unfulfilling, boring, dull, and empty. They're interesting, challenging, focusing, and energizing. You become motivated to grow and change. Do not let your natural need for excitement develop anger about someone or something simply for the drama. 

"When you arrive at your future, will you blame your past?"  — Robert Half

Living in trust and gratitude feels good, secure, hopeful, and liberating. You are relaxed, confident, and empowered. It encourages possibilities, understanding, tolerance, solutions, growth, and opportunities without limitations. Concentrate on what you have — not what you're missing. Develop a vision of your life that you can get excited about instead of staying stuck in the past or continuing non-productive habits.  Look at and appreciate every moment of life's journey so that your peace and happiness is never dependent on any external event (good or bad).

"...focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it."   — Greg Anderson

 

Enjoy life now — it has an expiration date!

Infinite change - Finite time

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."  — Annie Dillard

Life is change — period!  Nothing lasts forever, whether good, bad, or indifferent. Although time just keeps marching along, this is not bad news. Knowing the inevitability of change is a powerful motivator to stay focused on your goals and priorities. Until you let go of the guilt, regrets, or shame of yesterday and stop worrying or dreaming about tomorrow, you will never fully enjoy this moment. Living in the now prevents distracting and ineffective activities, and helps use time more efficiently. Live today — this moment — as if it were your last!  

"Time is life. It is irreversible and irreplaceable. To waste your time is to waste your life, but to master your time is to master your life and make the most of it."  — Alan Lakein

Acknowledging the unpredictability of your existence helps see and appreciate all the beauty in the world. Your awareness of now should be non-judgmental, purposeful, and objective enough to prevent over-reacting to events. Increasing your mindfulness allows an ever-changing idea of who you think you are and how you feel about yourself. In addition, this awareness opens your view of others and the world, and changes how you perceive your relationships.

"Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it."  — M. Scott Peck

Enjoy life now — it has an expiration date!

Healing thru Mistakes

"People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives." —  J. Michael Straczynski

Making bad choices which are not good for you physically or emotionally often result in your feelings of guilt and shame being hidden deep inside.  Ignoring these feelings though can prevent part of you from feeling like you deserve to forgive yourself and heal. Ironically, those hidden feelings are most in need of your attention, love, and forgiveness. And becoming aware of those stuffed feelings is required to start your healing process.

"Your whole idea about yourself is borrowed — borrowed from those who have no idea of who they are themselves." — Osho: Was an Indian mystic, guru, and philosopher

Pay attention to the choices you make that they are not good for your well-being. Explore why you are making a bad choice, learn from your mistakes, and be gentle with yourself. Give your tender, hidden feelings a lot of TLC and expose them to the light and air to take away their power.
 

Enjoy life now — it has an expiration date!

Expanding Your Mind

"There is a thought in your mind right now. The longer you hold on to it, the more you dwell upon it, the more life you give to that thought. Give it enough life, and it will become real. So make sure the thought is indeed a great one."  — Ralph Marston

You always accept whatever unconscious thoughts come to your mind.  Become aware, diligent, and consistent at listening to your underlying beliefs to change your self-talk from negative to positive. Watch your reactions, responses, feelings, and thoughts about other people to identify your unconscious beliefs.

"Man is made or unmade by himself. In the armory of thought, he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself. He also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace." — James Allen

It's hard to live in the moment because your expectations limit the potential possibilities of each moment. Identify why you're doing the things you do — what's the motivation and intention — the reward you get from the action.  Your reality comes from your intentions and purpose.

"Men are more accountable for their motives than for anything else ...." — Archibald Alexander

 

"A good intention clothes itself with power." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you do only one thing at a time, you're more open to something new, optimistic, and not reliving the past or anticipating the future.  This allows new insights and ideas and provides the power to transform mundane tasks into profound experiences. With a truly blank mind, the sensations of time and space quickly expand in a surrounding circle away from you — leaving you unaware of either the the center point or the circle's edge. You can are open to all potential.

"Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him."  — Aldous  Huxley

Enjoy life now — it has an expiration date!

Awareness brings Insight

"The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival." — Aristotle

Life is full of choices, large and small, and insignificant decisions can lead to huge, life-altering changes. Your reality though still comes from your perspective of all those elements in your life. Shifting your focus, concentration, and awareness allows you to see/feel/hear/think life from a different "angle", most probably, from a much wider view.

"Insight occurs when, and to the degree that, one knows oneself." — Andrew Schneider

Being tuned into yourself opens your consciousness of the whole world around you. Your appreciation and understanding of the various parts and pieces of the universe increases as you start to recognize and become comfortable with the various contradictions in life.

"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us 'Universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security." — Albert Einstein

Greater awareness comes from less attachment to material items and more interest in the spiritual side of existence. Ironically, improving your soul's qualities, values, and meaning allows you to more easily include others in your considerations while you all work within the whole picture. Insight comes from greater sight.

"Higher consciousness, enLIGHTenment, comes from meaningful experiences and lessons passed with the understanding that there truly is only one law - the Law of Love. When one leads a life expressing this belief, the mind and heart begin to open to new realities, and other dimensional truths become known." — Dr. Norma Milanovich & Dr. Shirley McCune

Unfortunately, greater awareness can lead to focusing on differences instead of similarities. Step back from any situation to see the larger scene and renew your perspective. Identify common causes, motives, and needs to shift your thinking from either/or to both/and.

"We are not what we know. We are what we are willing to learn." — Council on Ideas

A constant Happy High

Even if you've realized that happiness is your choice, you may still be having problems thinking happy thoughts daily. You could have been conditioned by society to be prepared for the worst so that now your thoughts lean to the negative possibilities in your life. Although ugly surprises are very unpleasant, dwelling on all the what if's is not only a very unhealthy way to live, both physically and emotionally, but you also risk the possibility of creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

"Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence."- Aristotle: was a Greek philosopher

Shift your focus from preparation for bad to awareness of good. Don't let your circumstances control your appreciation of life. Happiness does not hinge on what you have or don't have — just on how you SEE what you have.

 

Look for, find, and appreciate all the things that are in your life about which to be happy and content. Happy moments can be huge, like marriage or births, or very small, like discovering a small, blooming wildflower, hearing a bird song, drinking a great cup of coffee, or receiving a phone call from a good friend. The little things in life and relationships make the difference, so pay attention to them.

"...focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it."  — Greg Anderson

If necessary, start a happiness journal to keep track of those growing reasons to feel happy. The more reasons you recognize to feel happy, the more balanced your life becomes.