Control, Beliefs, & Reality

Once you become aware of and accept all the things in life that you cannot control — those things that are not your job — you can start appreciating all the good things in your life. Your perception of your reality changes even if your life doesn't, and your journey shifts course effortlessly.

The beauty of reaching this point is that now you no longer need to work nearly as hard at feeling happy and content. You can relax because you finally get it, once and for all — you no longer need to try to control, defend, protect, or guard against risk. It was never your responsibility anyway, but now it's not even tempting. You've let go, stopped hanging on to your old ways of thinking, and you can just go with the flow!

You are not always right — but it's not always because you are wrong.

You are not doomed nor fated to have a bad life — nor are you a BAD PERSON. Your reality is simply clouded by those early beliefs which you absorbed which are no longer true, acceptable, nor applicable. Identify and discard old beliefs and replace them with acceptable beliefs. Just relax, accept, and allow your new reality to unfold.

A constant Happy High

Even if you've realized that happiness is your choice, you may still be having problems thinking happy thoughts daily. You could have been conditioned by society to be prepared for the worst so that now your thoughts lean to the negative possibilities in your life. Although ugly surprises are very unpleasant, dwelling on all the what if's is not only a very unhealthy way to live, both physically and emotionally, but you also risk the possibility of creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

"Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence."- Aristotle: was a Greek philosopher

Shift your focus from preparation for bad to awareness of good. Don't let your circumstances control your appreciation of life. Happiness does not hinge on what you have or don't have — just on how you SEE what you have.

 

Look for, find, and appreciate all the things that are in your life about which to be happy and content. Happy moments can be huge, like marriage or births, or very small, like discovering a small, blooming wildflower, hearing a bird song, drinking a great cup of coffee, or receiving a phone call from a good friend. The little things in life and relationships make the difference, so pay attention to them.

"...focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it."  — Greg Anderson

If necessary, start a happiness journal to keep track of those growing reasons to feel happy. The more reasons you recognize to feel happy, the more balanced your life becomes.

What is wisdom?

What exactly is wisdom and why would or should anyone strive to achieve it?  The significance is conveyed best through examining the deeper concepts of the "Serenity Prayer":

 

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

 

Relinquish your controlling nature to whatever higher (religious, universal, etc) power you believe in to accept the reality of the present conditions and circumstances - instead of fighting that reality with illusions of how things 'should' or 'should not' be.

Courage to change the things I can;

However, there's always the choice of making responsible decisions to take actions which we know are necessary, regardless of unknown outcomes or consequences. Our Life is determined by the decisions and actions that we take and the thoughts that we hold - by no other forces. We must in all cases live with the consequences of our decisions or our lack of decision. The only thing that we can change is our perspective as we view reality, learning to make wiser choices by better thinking each moment.

And wisdom to know the difference.

Wisdom is not how you think, but specific behavior [what you do] based on life's experiences: an acquired ability to remember and later recognize the things which do or do not coincide with reality; the things which are true and honest; the eventual success of numerous mistakes strung together; learning not to engage in more foolishness than what can be laughed at [instead of bringing tears].