De-stress Your Life

"In my experience, there is only one motivation, and that is desire. No reasons or principle
contain it or stand against it."  — Jane Smiley: Pulitzer Prize-winning American novelist

Don't let stress ruin your health and happiness. When you start feeling dizzy, tight neck muscles, nauseous, confused, overwhelmed, or aching head, recognize the stress and remember that you always have at least two options [to do something or to do nothing]. 

"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time." - Anna Freud, 1895-1982, Austrian-born Psychoanalyst/Psychologist and Daughter of Sigmund Freud

Tap into your personal power to control your expectations, perspectives, and opportunities to relax.

"A step in the wrong direction is better than staying on the spot all our life. Once you're moving forward you can correct course as you go. Your automatic guidance system cannot guide you when you're standing still."  — Maxwell Maltz

Don't think you have to solve every problem by yourself — accept help and advice from friends and family. Prioritize tasks and delegate some to others. Consider how serious a problem will be in one or five years. Is it really that important after all? Don't waste your energy trying to fix something that's beyond your control. Think of all the possible options to survive the worst case scenario then let it go! 

"Every thought you have makes up some segment of the world you see. It is with your thoughts, then, that we must work, if your perception of the world is to be changed." — A Course in Miracles 

When multiple issues create constant unresolved stress, restore your peacefulness as often as needed and possible by doing something nice for yourself — listen to music, mediate, journaling, take a bubble bath, watch a movie or read a book, etc.

"You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you." —James Allen

Increase your resistance to stress by getting enough sleep and regular relaxation and exercise [yoga, gardening, walking, martial arts, etc], expressing your feelings before a crisis occurs, managing your time well, pre-planning for difficult situations, and being willing to say "no" to too many obligations.

"Never let yesterday use up too much of today."  — Will Rogers: Humorist

Enjoy life now — it has an expiration date!

Blessings and Balance

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be"  — Abraham Lincoln

Your perspective of the world and your relationships to all the people and things within your view creates whatever happiness and peace you feel.  When you see each moment of your life as being blessed, centered, and balanced, with love and understanding, acceptance and tolerance, you have no need for power and control. Controlling your own mind, emotions, and behavior is the ONLY POWER YOU HAVE! 

"Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, 'This is the real me,' and when you have found that attitude, follow it." — William James: Was a psychologist and philosopher

Without expectations, you no longer experience disappointments or resentment. Your contentment no longer hinges on any specific event, and you can enjoy the ups and downs of the adventure of life which appear as unexpected gifts from outside your own expectations.

"Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it." — Chief Seattle

You can stop taking everyone else's behavior personally — as if someone or the entire world is concentrating on making your life miserable.  Sorry, you're really not that important to most people, especially strangers, so stop taking yourself so seriously!

There is a saying that "happiness is nothing more than good health and bad memory",so promote good health and choose what you remember and think about.

Your fears of abandonment, failure, inadequacy, or weakness are all conditioned responses — created by a shortage of love — from even well-meaning family and friends. When a loved one looks at and treats you in a certain way, you unconsciously behave as if that person's perspective is an unchanging, undeniable truth. As unpleasant as it is, identifying and healing these wounds which diminish your confidence and self worth is critical to being able to tap into your real inner strength and energy. When a painful memory surfaces, feel it completely and compassionately to dissipate it's energy.

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly." — Buddha: was a spiritual teacher and founder of Buddhism

Anger is a secondary emotion, useful only to get your attention and prompt immediate action.  Afterwards it is simply concealing hurt feelings. Hanging onto to past anger and hurt requires an enormous amount of your energy. So even if you can't quite manage to forgive someone's past painful actions against you, at least let go of wanting revenge.  Accept and trust that everyone pays for their mistakes sooner or later!

"I don't forgive people because I am weak — I forgive them because I am strong enough to know that people make mistakes." — Unknown

Enjoy life now — it has an expiration date!

Not What Your Want - or Is It?

So you've read all the books and listened to all the recordings, and are trying to manifest your dreams — but it just isn't working! Or worse, it's stopped working. You're still broke, alone, living in a slum, working a crummy job, or whatever is not part of your desires.  What's wrong?

"It is only when we realize that life is taking us nowhere that it begins to have meaning." — P.D. Ouspensky

First, get over feeling special — stop expecting to receive what you want simply because you asked for it.  Your ego mind is influencing your feelings. Instead, start listening to that wise, little voice deep inside when you think about not being "special". Don't fall into the trap of thinking you're "special" just because you're NOT manifesting your desires.

"Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds." —Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Next, consider the reason for wanting what you want.  Is it really your want, or possibly someone else's want for you, — or even a should desire based on some left-over, non-relevant belief you silently acquired decades ago? Are you really living YOUR life, or just going through the motions while marching to someone else's drumbeat? We all are continually bombarded with marketing messages for products and activities that are supposed to bring us happiness that it's difficult to really know what we want and don't want.

"The human physiology is part of the cosmic physiology. Every rhythm of the universe therefore naturally has an effect on the individual and vice versa."  — Maharishi Mahesh Yogi: Founder and teacher of the Transcendental Meditation program

Initially, you will attract your dreams and desires, but once you try to manifest very specific events or items for YOU, the magic stops working because it doesn't mesh with the larger picture. The solution is to shift the way you live [not just the way your think] to accept and expect miracles. Every miniscule action that each and every person takes irrevocably changes the entire world for everyone else because we're all connected. So it's logical that you can't alter events and other people's realities until you are responsible for your actions. Therefore, the Law of Attraction can't work until you can actually envision your future and know what will actually bring you happiness. But being able to manifest your desires is only the beginning to true enlightenment and wisdom. 

"The biggest lesson I have ever learned is the stupendous importance of what we think. If I knew what you think, I would know what you are, for your thoughts make you what you are; by changing our thoughts, we can change our lives." —Dale Carnegie

Recognize that your ego is only a small part of you [the part that thinks and wants]. YOU are much more than that. Daily, spend quiet, private time with yourself [commonly called meditation] communing with your Higher Power, recognizing the ways everything in the universe are related, and feeling the healing reassurance that you are loved, cared for, and guided by the Universe.

"Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds." —Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Eventually, you'll stop controlling, struggling and fighting, and actually TRUST that everything and anything is possible, that you are part of a greater design, and that you will be OK with whatever happens. You'll finally feel the peace and contentment you've always desired.

"So often we wait for the climate and conditions in life to be perfect before we feel safe enough to step forward, trust, and be our authentic selves. What we don't realize is that in order to create the ideal climate we are waiting for, we must be authentic first." - Sonia Choquette: Spiritual teacher and author

Concentrate on the Similarities

I've never understood why societies tend to notice the aspects that are different between members, rather than concentrating on the aspects of similarities.  I've both watched and personally experienced the phenomena of people who are not happy with each other uniting against a common problem.  How amazing when energies and passions are combined to produce more than double the results (synergy). 

 

As a simple but powerful example, consider the various religious quotes regarding "love they neighbor":

Full of love for all things in the world, practicing virtue in order to benefit others, this man alone is happy. -- Buddhism

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; even as I have loved you... By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. -- Christianity

Seek to be in harmony with all your neighbors; live in amity with your brethren. --Confucianism

A man obtains a proper rule of action by looking on his neighbor as himself. --Hinduism

Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. --Judaism

Regard Heaven as your father, Earth as your mother, and all things as your brothers and sisters. --Shintoism

Doesn't this sound like the distinct possibility that one God is speaking through all these religions? 

 

So whether it's religion, race, disabilities, weight, education, income, abilities, or any other of a host of 'differences' you may feel about another person, just concentrating on the 'similarities' is far healthier (for everyone), easier to maintain (requires much less of your energy), and overall leaves you feeling much more peaceful and serene about the choices you're making in your life.