"The sum total of human knowledge consists of an endless series of doubtful bulletins." -- Thomas L. Masson, The City of Perfection, 1927
Everyone's reality is based on their beliefs and associated feelings regarding how they view their world. Feelings are neither good nor evil, but when the behavior they produce is harmful to yourself or others, you need to examine and choose your beliefs about yourself, another person, and/or a situation in order to adjust your connected feelings about an experience.
Your beliefs are actually part of your body though, not just in you mind. Your body's cells actually maintain a biased memory, although not an understanding, of all your past experiences and then faithfully reproduces the specific chemistry within you each time a situation seems similar and familiar. Consequently, your perception of an event, based on your current beliefs and thoughts, is often stronger and more important than the actual experience.
Of course no one actually causes themselves to be abused or hurt, but some people continue to hang on to their feelings of rage, self-pity, anger, and fear regarding painful experiences because they unwisely believe that remembering those experiences will somehow relieve their torment. The major problem with hanging onto painful memories is the separation of mind and body, which prevents a person from listening to what their body actually needs to be healthy. Symptoms of this development include ignoring the need for more sleep or exercise, not eating nutritional food, continuing harmful addictions, or possibly even disregarding when and if to drink or eat.
Although everyone has the ability to know what is right or wrong for themselves, some people do not actually believe themselves capable of making good decisions for themselves. They believe that if the memory is hidden deep enough then they will no longer feel pain from an experience. This action just merges all those negative feelings, most commonly guilt, more completely into the person's belief system. They tend to readily accept direction from others, regardless of the harm or the benefit to themselves, refusing to take responsibility for their own lives or make their own decisions based on what is right for themselves.
Unfortunately, the side-effects and after-effects of inappropriate behaviors to forget specific painful experiences — such as using alcohol or drugs — may create more, possibly worse, situations than what you're trying to forget. Sadly, these choices don't actually make your pain go away either. It IS possible to change your chemistry and feeling by free will though. You really do have the power to direct the way you think, what you think, and therefore what you feel.
Consider that if you continue to hang onto any negative feelings from your past, it may be that you enjoy your pain and are not really ready or wanting to move on yet. Examine how you may be getting more from your pain than you think you would get from letting go of those bad experiences. Also, realize that when you continually attempt to ignore negative feelings, they will fester and infect your entire being much like germs. Your past and present negative feelings must be exposed to the air and light of your acknowledgement in order to rid yourself of them, and to keep them gone. If you never choose to forgive, you will either continue to be a victim or possibly even victimize others.
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